Posts in Ingredients for life
Who are you now?

The stories that replay in your head can be so loud.

The things they said, you thought were true.

The way you used to feel shows up in your now, taking you back to when you were three when your father left, when you were twelve when the kids on the playground made fun of you, or from your more recent past when you chose yourself instead of him.

Echoes from your past,

“Who do you think you are?”

“Get over it.”

“You’re not as good as her or as pretty as her.”

“You’ll never amount to anything.”

“Put up and shut up.”

The voice of scorn, “Your work isn’t good enough”, “No one will ever want to marry you”, “You want too much,” or, “You think the whole universe revolves around you, don’t you?” (Well yes, as a matter of fact it does, thank you.)

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Where Has The Love Gone?

Where once there was connection and the warm and fuzzies, now the love between you has slithered away leaving layers of scaly resentment, anger and frustration.  

When you first met, you loved-him-so.  He left sparkles and fairy-dust in his tracks.  He painted your toenails, fluffed your pillows, paid attention to you in ways that made you feel really special, and looked longingly into your eyes.  If someone were looking-at-you-looking-at-him, all that could be seen were big hearts bursting out of your eyeballs as you gazed adoringly at him.  You easily overlooked his "flaws" ("What flaws?!?", you asked), his messes and gruff manor around anything emotional.  "Perfection, manifested," you thought.

Then one day, you noticed something about him that seemed like a flaw in the perfection package. You gave it some thought; maybe you discussed it with your friend(s). You may have decided you should discuss it with him, asking him to stop doing (or change) that thing because it made you feel irritated, bothered, angry or bad in some way.

So he did.  Kind of.  

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What's That Supposed to Mean?

"What are you making it mean?"

Sounds like a simple question.  What I'm referring to are the meanings you link to experiences and events in your life that you use to define who you are or are not; who others are or are not; and what the world is or is not.  

Meanings involve what you're capable or incapable of and what possibilities or improbabilities lie before you.  Meanings interweave with your beliefs and expectations.  

So how bound are you to those meanings?  

When someone says something to you in that tone of voice - what do you make it mean about you, or about them?  You might make it mean you did something wrong, they're an idiot, they're in a bad mood, or that you're responsible for how they feel.  

When you get (or don't get) something you want - what do you make it mean?  You might make it mean that it's your doing, or someone else's.  Maybe it's just luck, random, coincidence or that this one-time or every time things go your way? Or maybe it's that things don't ever go your way (or rarely do) and that it's someone else's fault you didn't get what you want?

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Relationships Built on Eggshells

Admit it - don't you sometimes (maybe often) think that if everyone would change a little and be more to your liking, it would be so much better for you?  A little tweak here another tweak there; stop doing this and start doing that.  

You know - that annoying thing your mother does.  You really love her, but...

And your sister - if she'd be more responsive...she's such a flake. 

Your friend - if he would just like your FB and Instagram posts.  You really like him but he's kind of a dick for that. 

Your significant other - if she'd be more responsible with her time (that would be nice). 

Your teenage daughter - if she were less moody (that would be really nice).

Your co-workers - if they weren't so negative (your day at work would be so much better). 

Wouldn't your world be so much shinier and full of rainbows if everyone was the version of what you wanted them to be?  You know, more like your dog - more loveable, sweeter, cooperative and always eager to please you? Like...all the time!

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Your Thoughts Are Like Seeds

Your thoughts are like seeds.  Every time you think them, it's like adding fertilizer to them.

Plant a seed, it grows.  

Think a thought longer, you're fertilizing it and it's growing even more.

Want an apple tree?  Plant an apple seed.  

Want tomatoes?  Plant tomato seeds.

Want asparagus? 

 ...You get the picture.  

If you want asparagus but plant corn, you're going to get corn.

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What You Can Start Doing Now to Pre-Pave for 2017

This will be my last post for 2016.  As I thought about what to write - coupled with my desire to be of value and to provide you with ways to live a good-feeling life - I decided to offer you some ways to start intending and implementing now, ways to align with the true essence of who-you-are.  

When you align with your true essence, it's like you - getting out-of-the-way.  

It's like you - letting the door(s) open for you.  

It's like you - laying on an inner-tube in the water and letting it float you.  


When you make it harder than it needs to be, when you struggle, justify, try to prove, argue for your limitations, look for the worst, look for problems, let things bother you, feel like you don't deserve it, compare yourself to others or get into a habit of thinking about things that don't feel good - that's like you shading yourself from the good that's already there - or closing the door to the opportunities that are lined-up for you.  

I want you to live a good life - that means feeling good and having the things and the experiences that you want.  

Alignment is key to all of it and here are some ways to promote that:

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On Death, Dying and Living

Death touches us all. 

None of us can be born without experiencing what we call death.  

Not one of us will escape it.

The reality of it is provided for us within our family, friends, neighbors and strangers worldwide.  Often, the fear and sense of loss is perpetuated amongst us with the perspective that once we're dead, we are - for the most part - gone.

With the very recent transition of my mother-in-law, (lovingly called Gram), I wanted to pause and contemplate the idea of death, life and the thereafter once again.  

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How Tired Are You?

Are you tired of being broke?

Tired of being in a relationship that's more trouble than it's worth?

Tired of things being blown out of proportion?

Tired of working at a mediocre meaningless job that you don't like?

Tired of the struggle?

Tired of feeling like you're always fixing "broken" things about yourself and others?

Tired of feeling frustrated, rejected, told what to do?

Good.  Because being tired of something means you're just about ready to change your perspective.  

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