Death touches us all.
None of us can be born without experiencing what we call death.
Not one of us will escape it.
The reality of it is provided for us within our family, friends, neighbors and strangers worldwide. Often, the fear and sense of loss is perpetuated amongst us with the perspective that once we're dead, we are - for the most part - gone.
With the very recent transition of my mother-in-law, (lovingly called Gram), I wanted to pause and contemplate the idea of death, life and the thereafter once again.
Several years ago (at least 20), I had an experience of “near death”.
At the time that it happened, my perspective about my life was challenging and I had many questions - about life, myself, and about why I was here. I could sense that there was so much more to understand about life and the Universe that I couldn't see. I had a deep desire to know and discover it and I felt called to understand it, yet resisted my true nature to follow it due to the actions I felt I needed to take to proceed.
One night, I fell asleep as usual. Near dawn, I slipped into a lucid consciousness - aware of having a body, while not feeling in my body. As detached as I felt from the body that I was observing, I was acutely aware of the heart that was beating faintly and slowly - barely keeping the body alive - and profoundly aware of the stillness of this body laying face up on the bed - unable to move - keenly conscious of breath scarcely moving through my lungs.
Beyond the physical body, I was enormously aware of an engulfing peace - luxurious, delicious and sublime - it was exquisite and palatable. My body didn't feel like it was with me at this point - it was my consciousness - me as a "body" of energy. I felt inclined toward a very bright opening - like daylight at the end of a tunnel or walking into the sun - and could feel myself flowing toward it; my awareness of every detail finely tuned and amplified.
I silently flowed closer and closer to the “light” feeling the intense presence of extreme joy and complete fulfillment, while being entirely enveloped in love and wellness.
In that instant, I knew, surer than I’d ever been about anything in my life, that I could make the choice to let go and peacefully allow my body to stop breathing, my heart to cease beating, and joyously transition from physical form and perspective to non-physical energy and perspective.
It was clear to me that I could make that choice and it was okay if I did. I could remain one with this energy and live from that vantage point or I could flow myself through the physical body. I knew that no matter what my choice was, that this experience of joy, lightness, fulfillment, love and wellness was available to me from either vantage point - physical or non-physical. It wasn’t something only to be accessed and experienced if I decided to cease the personality I’d come to know as me.
The personality known as me could only serve to enhance that experience and I could live it fully in my physical body.
That’s when I made the decision to “flow back”. I felt myself as the strong, steady stream of energy gliding through time and space, slowly and gently re-entering the body, my awareness shifting, easily and effortlessly restoring my bodily functions - my heart beating a little stronger, my breath reaching deeper, with sensations returning to my limbs again.
I lay there awhile, unable to move - knowing that this experience had changed me forever.
I believe that death is not an ending, it's simply living from another vantage point.
I believe that death is transitioning from one perspective to another.
I believe that while the consciousness may leave the body, the consciousness still continues.
I believe that what the consciousness was interested in while in a physical body, the consciousness is still interested in when it's no longer flowing through the identity of the physical body.
I believe that making peace with death allows you to live more freely.
I believe that the ones we label as "dead" are not lost, missing or gone - they've simply changed form and it's up to us to now perceive them differently.
I believe that if we felt for their presence rather than their absence, we would communicate with them more.
I believe that it's the illusion of loss that creates pain, suffering and the impression of separation.
I believe that from an energetic perspective, the experience of death is a joyous one no matter how it looks from the physical perspective.
I believe that understanding death for what it really is - much less pain, loss or suffering would be experienced.
I believe that communication from non-physical never ceases and that it's up to the physical perspective to tune to it to receive it.
I believe that for the most part, death is greatly misunderstood.
While I can longer see Gram in the ways that I'm used to and while I won't be able to experience her in the ways that I've known, I'm excited for this new expansion and this new relationship that we can have. I'm enlivened at the thought of communicating with her in ways we've yet to discover between the two of us. I want her change in form and physical to be a joyous celebration of what we all get to experience.
Without my own experience, I may not be as stable in my knowing of these things. I see unnecessary pain and suffering due to a misunderstanding of who we all are. We're streams of energy and streams of consciousness that never cease flowing whether we're in a body or not.
The idea that there's a separation and a loss perpetuates the pain and suffering.
The ones you care about, the ones you once saw with your eyes, the ones you once spoke to on the phone, face-to-face or texted - they're not gone. They're right there with you where you are.
You just have to feel for them where they are and not look for them where they're not.
I know for sure Gram is the happiest she's ever been and that she's not gone anywhere and I know for sure that she helped me write this from her perspective.
There's only life and more life - it's just from another vantage point.
Thanks, Gram for being you.