Posts in Outlook on Life
Can You Dare?

Many of us forego good for great; awesome for roarsome; magnificent for phenomenal; outstanding for astonishing.

When I was thinking about leaving my first husband, I feared that I was being stupid.  I doubted that I could do it and I didn't know if I should.  I didn't know where I was going, let alone the steps to take toward what I wanted.  I feared I was leaving a man and a relationship that were really great and would possibly never realize the more that I was reaching for. 

I had stability and a thriving business with my husband.  We had an exquisite home that was often the hub of gatherings for our friends and family.  We traveled frequently and money was ours to spend freely.  We got along, had fun together and respected each other; I loved this man.

So why would I want to leave when I had it so good?  It didn't make sense to me.

There was nothing fundamentally wrong with our relationship and nothing that I could say was a "deal breaker".  

There was nothing I can say that I needed to run away from. 

But I did feel a sense that I wanted to run toward something more. 

Did I dare want more than what I had? (I made myself wrong for wanting more for a long time).

Did I dare go from really good to roarsome?

Was this even possible???

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You Can Always Tell A Different Story

We all like to tell stories; the stories of our lives... It's how we relate to one another, bond and make forever friends, isn't it?

We embellish them here, flower them up there, tell the truth-as-it-is for the sake of accurate and actual accounts.  We provide the sequence of unfolding events along the way, dragging up all the good, the bad and the ugly parts that got us to where we are and made us the person that we are now.  

While it may make for a good story, what you think and talk about and how you feel about it - becomes.  

You're always creating your now (because it's now and you're having the experience of it now as you're telling it) and you're also pre-paving a future reality.  

So if you're going to recount events (tell stories) about your past, present or future, make light of the bad and the ugly - or leave it out altogether.  

You don't have to emphasize the struggle to affirm your worthiness.

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If Only You Were Different - I Would Like You So Much More

Imagine you have a dog.  He's a lovely dog, mostly.  You enjoy having a dog around, yes you do.  It's comfortable and it has it's perks - like companionship and someone to play with.  "Having a dog around is a good thing", you think.  

Now imagine that you'd like your dog so much more if he didn't insist on being fed at a certain time, or if he were less selective about his food. You'd also like him more if he stopped whining and didn't bark like a dog.  If he didn't leave muddy paw prints on your floor and dog hair on your clothes you'd be so much less annoyed - let alone hogging the (your) bed and the snoring at night while you're trying to sleep.  

In other words, if he would change just a little here and a little there, and if he would alter this and adjust that - you'd be so much happier with him. If he were less like a dog and more who-you-want-him-to-be, your world would be so much better, wouldn't it?

Is that kind-of how you feel about your mate/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend?  

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The Grass Will Be Greener When...

The grass will be greener when...

You have enough money to buy beyond what you need - and then the grass will be even greener when you can buy what you really want.

You can do only what you want, not what you have to.

You're at the body weight that you've always wanted to be.

You can take that trip of a lifetime.  More than once.  

You can quit your day-job and hang out at the beach. Forever. 

Your house, taxes, paperwork and closets are in-order.

You have the place, the space and the landscape that you want.

Your business is running smoothly, you've built your list, and you've got more followers than bees are on-to honey.  

You get your degree, start your dream business, finish that project, the people in your life stop annoying you and your dog stops barking at things you can't see or hear.   

Your kid cleans up his room, you find the guy you want to marry, or the gal loves you back the way you love her.  

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Stirring Up Trouble-Soup

So you've got yourself elbow-deep-in-some-sort-of-poop-soup and you're wondering how you got here, why you got here and how much it stinks to be here. 

Yep...we've all been there at one-time or many in our lives, haven't we?

Maybe you've gone and stirred-up some trouble in your relationship.

Maybe you've gone and stirred-up some trouble in your finances.

Or maybe you've gone and stirred-up some trouble with your health, career, your kids, or your next door neighbor.

It doesn't matter what kind of trouble you've mixed up and it matters less how or why you made it.  

If you were making a soup - you'd add some sort of broth (you know, the gluten-free/soy-free/dairy-free/toxin-free kind), veggies, spices, meat, more gluten-dairy-soy-free stuff and maybe a little bit of salt (of the sea variety, of course) - and voila - you'd have soup. Maybe you'd give a taste-test along the way, or maybe you'd let it simmer awhile before finding out what all of those ingredients produced.  

Let's say in this example that you didn't like the soup you made (because we're talking "trouble" here and most of you don't like the troubles you create). 

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The Art of Feeling Inadequate

There are things that people expect you to be.

There are things you think people expect you to be.

There are things you expect you to be.

You might think you should be doing better.

You might think that all of those people are doing way better than you - way smarter, way funnier, way-more-handsome, and way more having-their-shit-together.

You compare yourself to the posts on the FacePlace (FB) and wonder...

...Well, you wonder whatever you wonder.

You want to look good to others.  You want to make an impression.  You want them to think you're smart.  You want to be impressive, liked, loved, acknowledged and gushed-over. 

You want to say the most intelligent and wisest thing ever said.  You want to be worthy of their praises, highlights, high reels, and high fives. 

You want to stand out but maybe not-so-much that the bar is too high for you to live up to it.

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You Don't Have to Think About That Right Now...Let it Be for Awhile

That thing you think about seems compelling.

The issuethe problem, the thing that's bothering you.  

You've been told you need to think about IT.  

Can you let whatever-IT-is BE for now?  Can you stop - just for awhile - trying to figure-shit-out, how-when-or-where it got started, fix it, change it, end it?

It seems counter-intuitive to let it go - to *not* think about it.  It's there and you don't want it, which you think means you need to eradicate it from your life - obliterate the son-of-a-bitch.

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7 Ways to Get Your Happy On

Sometimes, it feels like you've got no control over how you feel.  It's like something outside of you has gotten a hold of your brain, your thoughts and your attention, thereby giving you the impression that how you feel has nothing to do with you and everything to do with whatever's gotten a grip on your brain.  You wish you could be happy, but you've got all kinds of things to be unhappy about that you can't (but wish you could) control. 

If you want to move yourself closer to happy and feel more in control of your emotions, here are a few things you can do:

1) Let How You Feel Be

Don't try to fix it or change it.  Don't try to analyze it or solve it.  Don't try to make it different.  Don't try to justify, defend or explain it.  Doing so will only intensify how you're feeling and have you feeling like your thoughts are more out of your control.  Let it be for awhile and acknowledge that you don't have to feel like this forever; that this feeling doesn't have to last endlessly.  You're feeling the way you are because of your perspective about the thing that has you upset.  While the condition may be unchangeable at the moment, your perspective is.  But still...let it be for now.  Ignoring how you feel in the sense of covering-up how you feel is not helpful, but distracting yourself from what seems to have you by the tail and making you feel unhappy, is.  If you weren't focused on the thing that's got you feeling something other-than happy, you'd be happy.  Think about that.  

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20 Things You Can Learn from a Toddler about Creating Your Reality

Sometimes (often), our teachers are not the older and wiser ones - they're the little ones eating lollipops and wearing velcro shoes.  

1) Be flexible.

We're not talking about yoga here.

2) Take the road less traveled.

You never know what you might find.

3) Do what you want anyway.

You know you really want to. 

4) Don't take anyone's opinion of you seriously.

It's all bullsh*t anyway. 

5) Do it for the fun of it.

'Cuz that's why you're here.  Why would you ever do it for any other reason?

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