Can You Dare?
Many of us forego good for great; awesome for roarsome; magnificent for phenomenal; outstanding for astonishing.
When I was thinking about leaving my first husband, I feared that I was being stupid. I doubted that I could do it and I didn't know if I should. I didn't know where I was going, let alone the steps to take toward what I wanted. I feared I was leaving a man and a relationship that were really great and would possibly never realize the more that I was reaching for.
I had stability and a thriving business with my husband. We had an exquisite home that was often the hub of gatherings for our friends and family. We traveled frequently and money was ours to spend freely. We got along, had fun together and respected each other; I loved this man.
So why would I want to leave when I had it so good? It didn't make sense to me.
There was nothing fundamentally wrong with our relationship and nothing that I could say was a "deal breaker".
There was nothing I can say that I needed to run away from.
But I did feel a sense that I wanted to run toward something more.
Did I dare want more than what I had? (I made myself wrong for wanting more for a long time).
Did I dare go from really good to roarsome?
Was this even possible???
I have clients who have great careers who want more. Others who are in reasonably good relationships who want fantastic ones. Some who live in outstanding homes in desirable locations and want even better and plenty of others who want improvements over the exceptionally good life that they're living.
And they wonder...
"Can I dare to ask for it?"
"Can I dare to go for it?"
"Can I dare to believe that I can have it?"
The answer is YES!
You can go from good to great or from awesome to awesomesauce.
What I realized those years ago is that although I had the guy and the things that I thought would make me happy, those weren't the things that were making me happy. Those were reasons or excuses for happy, but not the basis of my happiness.
I needed to discover that happiness starts from within.
I needed to know that I could be happy without before I could be happy with.
I needed to believe that there was even better than I had, before I could know the better that I wanted.
When I married him, I thought he was my forever guy. Nineteen years later, I found myself following a different path than I had foreseen.
I found myself running toward a path less wandered, but one where I didn't feel lost. A path that wasn't so familiar - one that wasn't based on needing things to stay the same. A path that wasn't based on things I knew - one that wasn't based on holding myself to good to forego great.
While there was uncertainty in terms of a clear path onward, I was so strongly compelled toward it, that I could no longer ignore it. I may not have been able to define the specifics of it but I could feel the rightness of it. I just had to listen.
I began to trust my inner voice and incrementally let go of needing to control, needing to confine, or needing to define anything too precisely.
As I did, my path continued to unfold before me.
I committed myself to feeling good and following my bliss - however that unfolded.
I committed to discovering my internal happiness rather than assigning it to anything or anyone outside of me.
I committed to being happy for the sake of happy.
The details - the why's, what's, how's; the "what are people going to think?"; the doubts, the contradictory thoughts to the strong momentum I felt compelled toward - began to diminish the more I decided to feel good and think less.
I chose a path that felt irresistible.
...A path that led me...
I got happy. I made peace with where I was. I felt appreciation for where I was. I took the credit for how I felt...about everything. When I was consistently there, the path became clear to me.
I didn't have to leave him to follow that path.
I discovered that I could stay and be happy - but I could also feel that staying would be resisting the more that I felt called toward.
You don't have to leave your guy or gal; you don't have to leave your cushy corporate job; you don't have to run from your business or move far, far away.
You can't ever run from anything and leave it behind.
If you feel everything about it is wrong, or if there's more about it that you don't like and don't want - it won't unfold in ways you're going to like more.
You can run toward something and feel good about what you're moving toward.
You can run toward something better.
You can dare to believe that you can have it just the way you want it to be.
To do that, you can't be squirming or complaining about where you are.
You've got to be more about what's right about right-where-you-are.
...Because you've heard the saying, "Wherever you go, there you are."
If you don't tend to your emotional content - if you don't do the inside job first - nothing you're running away from will ever be far away.en
When you feel differently first, it changes everything.
When you can feel better about where you are, clarity becomes yours. When you're no longer angry, resentful, blaming, fearful, or frustrated, the path lights up for you. When you align more with what you want than what you've-got-that-you-don't-want, you have access to your internal compass and where you are can transform into the better that you thought you were leaving for.
Roarsome can be found right where you are.
Maybe it's a different journey than you planned.
Maybe it doesn't look quite (or at all) look like you thought it would.
You know where you're headed...you just have to listen.
Sometimes, the answer is moving away from something or someone - change the scenery, the face or the place. Sometimes, that is the easiest path because when you're not in the physical space you were in, it makes way for the feeling place you're reaching for as there's less attention on what you don't want.
Make the best plans from where you are. Rather than taking steps forward in uncertainty, wait.
Find a way to feel surer first - to trust more.
Think about what you want and how it feels.
Feel better just because it feels better...about anything. Just feel better.
The way - the answers - will become clear.
Stay where you are, or run toward something else.
You can have better than you've got.
You can reach for more.
You can dare to believe that you can have it.
It's probable...not possible.
Good to great.
Awesome to roarsome.
Magnificent to phenomal.
Outstanding to astonishing.