Sometimes, it feels like you've got no control over how you feel. It's like something outside of you has gotten a hold of your brain, your thoughts and your attention - giving you the impression that how you feel has nothing to do with you and everything to do with whatever's gotten a grip on your brain. You wish you could be happy, but you've got all kinds of things to be unhappy about that you can't (but wish you could) control.
If you want to move yourself closer to happy and feel more in control of your emotions, here are a few things you can do:
1) Let How You Feel Be
Don't try to fix it or change it. Don't try to analyze it or solve it. Don't try to make it different. Don't try to justify, defend or explain it. Doing so will only intensify how you're feeling and have you feeling like your thoughts are more out of your control. Let it be for awhile and acknowledge that you don't have to feel like this forever; that this feeling doesn't have to last endlessly. You're feeling the way you are because of your perspective about the thing that has you upset. Your perspective is changeable, even if the condition may not be at the moment.
But still...let it be for now. Ignoring how you feel in the sense of covering-up how you feel is not helpful, but distracting yourself from what seems to have you by the tail and making you feel unhappy, is. If you weren't focused on the thing that's got you feeling something other-than-happy, you'd be happy. Think about that.
2) Make a Decision
Make a decision that you want to feel better and that you'll do the thing that feels the best. Take the path that feels the easiest. Make the decision that feels the easiest. Take the action that feels the easiest and best. It's not your forever decision. It's not the best that you can feel, it's not the answer to all of your questions, or solution to all of your problems.
From where you are now, what's your next-best decision? As you start moving in that direction, keep making a decision. When you make a decision, you align yourself with energy that's already in motion. Making a decision will help you feel more in control. When you feel more in control, you feel less confused. When you feel less confused, you're more adept at making clearer decisions. It all works off of each other. As you feel better, you have access to different answers/solutions and possibilities that once-upon-a-time when you felt more confused, you didn't have access to. You'll feel more personal power in the decision-making when you make a decision.
3) Cultivate Appreciation
Find whatever you can to easily appreciate. I don't know what that is - just make it something easy. Don't try to make yourself feel appreciation for something you loathe or that feels difficult to appreciate. That's just making it harder on yourself. The more you appreciate easily, the easier it becomes to feel appreciation on a more regular basis. It's kind of like loving someone who's nothing-but-lovable - that's easy. Don't try to love the ones you don't - not for now, anyway - but also don't justify why you don't love them or why they're oh-so-unlovable (refer to #1).
4) Develop and Nurture An Inner Relationship with Your Soul
You might call it Spirit, The Universe, Your God or Goddess, Santa or the Easter Bunnykins. It doesn't matter what you label the energy that's keeping the earth spinning, your heart beating, or your dead-grandma talking to you. Go inside. Meditate. Feel for that Inner Peace and then get out and engage with your world. Develop a meditation practice - whatever that means for you. It doesn't have to be a regimented thing - just some time to nurture that relationship in peace and solitude.
If you don't take the time to foster that connection from the inside, you'll look on the outside for how you want to feel on the inside. That never goes well and isn't long-lasting. How you feel is a self-renewable resource. Getting it from something or someone else is temporary.
5) Do Things That Make You Happy
While you want to encourage happiness from the inside-out, doing things that feel happy to you - or that "make you happy", also promotes your happiness. Is that being with friends? Going to the beach? Playing with your dog? Writing? Being outside, playing sports, watching sports, playing video games, working, napping, walking, bird-watching, being with your kids, being away from your kids...I think you get the picture. ;)
It doesn't matter what it is, just do the things that foster your happy and do them often.
6) Define Your Own Happiness
Let what happy is, be defined by you and no one else. Don't let someone else's standard of happy have you gauge yours. Someone else's happy might feel close to depression for you and your happy might feel like outright blasphemy to another.
What happy once-was to you, can now be boring. Happiness is unlimited - there's always more happy to be had, but let where you are now, be ok. You can be happy now on your way to more happy.
7) Take the Road to Happy and See What Happens
Some people think that happiness is a price that's too high to pay - how can they forsake the things that are going wrong in their lives and feel happy anyway? Once you get on the road to happy, you're never going to want to take a different road for very long. Not only does happiness feel good, it's the key to everything you want. You can't ever go wrong by taking the happy road. It's been said alot, but if you're not enjoying the journey, what's the point?
So how about giving it a try? Take the road to happy, stay on it and see what happens.