Several years ago while in a western gear store in Texas, I heard a girl over-yonder say, "This cowboy hat makes me look fat."
I thought, "Well, there you have it. If you think it, it shall be it." That girl was far, far, far from anything you would call fat, heavy or over-weight.
But she believed it.
How you perceive your world is everything.
How you feel about how you're perceiving is everything.
What you believe forms your perceptions.
We all have beliefs about the way things are, the way they should be and the way they may be - real or imagined.
Your beliefs are like a filter through which you see the (your) world. They give you a container of-sorts to make sense of your world in a way that's consistent.
To say that your beliefs aren't true would be false - because you believe your beliefs.
If I had told that girl that she wasn't fat, she wouldn't have believed me. She believed her belief about herself. How she looked at herself was through her belief that she was fat so anything she donned - including the cowboy hat - supported her belief.
Like most people on the planet, you look for evidence to affirm, justify, substantiate or match your beliefs.
If you believe that people are out to get you- you'll find proof that endorse your beliefs.
If you believe that only rich people can do that (and you don't consider yourself to be rich) you can bet your bottom-dollar that you won't be doing that - thereby validating what you believe.
If you believe that good things happen to other people (meaning - not you) - they will. Once again confirmation that what you believe is true.
If you believe you look great -
If you believe you're capable -
If you believe life has a way of working out for you -
Your reality will support your beliefs.
If you believe you've never been good at something and you never will be -
If you believe that everyone dies of cancer -
If you believe that you're faulty in some way or not-up-to-snuff -
Your reality will always show you what you believe.
If you like it and it feels good - keep on believin'.
If you don't like it and it doesn't feel good - just know that everything that you now believe is...
Moldable and changeable.
Every belief that you have can be modified to something else.
Those things that don't feel good and you don't want as your experience but you do believe - start by asking yourself one question,
"Is there something else I could believe about this that feels better to me?"
Accepting your beliefs as they are when they don't feel good and it's not what you want, is kind of like saying, "Give me all that stuff I don't like eating and I'll eat it. Every day. For the rest of my lifetime."
I know, right? You most likely would not say or do that.
So why do that with what you believe?
You won't immediately believe something totally different from the spectrum you've been perceiving from, but you can decide that you want your beliefs to feel better to you.
Make that decision. Now.
When you trip-over a belief that doesn't feel good, ask yourself the question (as noted above),
"Is there something else that I could believe about this that feels better to me?"
If you don't question your beliefs, you won't open the door to believing anything else.
If you want to feel better, have a look-see at your beliefs and decide to base your beliefs on how they feel to you. No other criteria required.
Acknowledge that your beliefs are amendable and self-regulated. Meaning - you do have a choice about what you choose to believe - you're the governing body over that.
Recognize that what you believe is a self-fulfilling prophecy - look around you and you have confirmation of that.
Everyone is having their beliefs affirmed all of the time.
Think about the beliefs you have that feel good to you. What are they? Don't you have confirmation of those - affirming that what you believe, IS?
You can believe that the cowboy hat makes you look fat, or, you can believe that the cowboy hat looks pretty darn fantastic on you.
Which feels better?