Same issues popping up? Here’s why
Have you noticed the thing you have a problem with or the things you have issues with are the things that keep showing up in your life?
Telltale signs are, you hear yourself say,
“My problem is this (fill in the blank)”,
“I have an issue with (fill in the blank)",
"I can't, I haven't been able to, this keeps happening...",
"I've been feeling this way (fill in the blank for your feels) for a long time",
and "I struggle with ...."
You often talk about said problem, issue, feels or patterns, #1, because you can't help it (because of the momentum you've got going on around it - more on that in a later post), and #2, because it temporarily makes you feel better to know you're not the only human on the planet who's having this experience or feeling this way.
Don't get me wrong, human bonding is good, and it can sometimes help to know you're not the only one, but bonding over what you don't want more-of, is not a habit I encourage.
Perhaps you've got this business, job, or entrepreneurial thing handled, but when it comes to relationships - you pretty-much suck.
Or maybe you've got relationships taken-care-of, not too many issues there (sort-of) - but when it comes to money, jeesh! You can't ever seem to make enough of it, you often fall-short or you barely make it when it comes to paying your bills. It feels haaaard - always scrambling, living paycheck to paycheck and it’s been this way forever.
Perhaps you've got the money and the relationships handled, but it's your damn body. shit. When it comes to your body, you've had this persistent problem with extra weight and you’ve named your arms loossey-lucy.
Could be you've got several of these "issues" that just keep happening.
Ever wonder why your issue, is an issue, why the “problem” keeps being a problem, or why the pattern keeps repeating?
Ever wonder why it feels as though you’ve got "replay" on, re-living the same ole', same ole' without much changing and the pause or stop button are nowhere to be found?
You thought you chose a different name and face to live with, but it's like it’s the same person over and over. And over. Again.
You've changed jobs 3 or 10 times, hired different employees (and fired lots more), launched multiple new online offers and even moved to a different country to get away from it, but there's that replay button again. Wtf?!?
You've tried every diet there is (the grapefruit one was a kicker, right?), you may as well try the new fasting one. Or maybe the Keto one. You’ve downloaded just about every workout that’ll get your butt off the couch and yet, here you are - still "needing" to lose those last 5 or 50 pounds, quitting the gym and taking those loossey-lucy arms with you.
Yep, I hear you chirpin' big-bird.
Well...let's talk.
You've heard of law of attraction? Likely. It's the law that says, "Your thoughts create your reality", "You get what you think about", "Like attracts like", "What you think about becomes", "What you focus on expands", - I know you've heard a version of this somewhere. Turns out, it's for reals. Lots of ways to interpret it and lots of misunderstanding about it, but still, it’s for reals.
It's kind of like the law of gravity - you know that if you jump out a window (please don’t do that), you fall down, not up. In gravity's case, you know well-enough not to jump if you don't want to hit the ground. In law of attraction's case, you don't always understand that what you keep thinking and talking about is what you’ll keep repeating. Replay button, remember?
You’ve probably been led to believe that talking about it and trying to figure out how to change it - especially when it's really bothering you - is going to make it better. You're supposed to talk about those issues aren't you? Supposed to dig-in, dig-deep and try to find the cause of all this dirt.
I’m here to tell you - there’s only more dirt where that came from.
So perhaps after you've read this, you'll re-think that approach.
"Ya, ya, ya", you say, "That law of attraction stuff works on stuff I want (well, sort-of) but when I think about what I don't want, my issues, the things that bother me, and things that keep happening over and over again (aka “patterns” in my life) - my thoughts don't have anything to do with those things. All of those things are just the way they are. It's got nothing to do with my thoughts. It's the truth. It's reality. It's the way it is. I've got no control over any of that stuff. And it's so easy to talk about! I think about it alOt. Lots of people have this same issue and talk about it too, so it's not just me. It can't just be me. This thing is hard. I've had it for a long time. It's been like this for a really long time."
If this isn't you, I know you know somebody who sounds like this and this somebody keeps having the same issue(s), problem(s) or patterns over and over again. Right?
Well, read on, because this either applies to you (probably) or to someone you know (probably).
So remember that little thing I said earlier about law of attraction - where your thoughts create, like attracts like, and you get what you think about? Well, it turns out that you get the essence of what you think about whether you want it or not. When you think, it’s like you’re putting out this big advertisement for the essence of your thoughts to come to you like your web page gets you the clients you want.
At this point, you may want to pretend you’re not thinking it, but you can’t. You can’t cover it up, you can’t pretend to the universe that you’re not thinking something, but you can think other things. You can start replacing your usual thoughts, the things you often talk about, (or the things you’ve joined groups about) with other thoughts, other conversations, and other groups.
To change a habit, it’s helpful to replace it with another habit, and since the way you think is mostly a habit (which law of attraction helps you with), you can replace your habitual way of thinking about your issues and problems in new ways - by either finding ways to re-frame them, soothing yourself about them, start laying groundwork for new expectations, or by letting them be, while you put more attention on other things that aren’t an issue or a problem.
There are so many other things you could think and talk about aren’t there?
There is a way to talk about problems and issues - but that’s not when you’re bothered by them - that just makes them seem and feel worse. It’s like taking a magnifying glass to something you would really rather not see. If you’re digging into anything from the perspective that there’s something wrong and you need to fix it or get rid of it, now is not the time to discuss or share it. You can talk about those patterns you’d like to change, but rather than keep talking about the patterns themselves, talk and think about the changes you want and how those improvements feel. Same with your problems and issues. Talk about the improvements you seek and how they feel. Or just shut. up.
Aren’t there a whole lot of other things you can think and talk about and do, that feel a whole lot better?
How you think, what you think and how frequently you think about it, creates your life. It’s like planting seeds in the ground. When you talk about them, it’s a little bit like watering those seeds. If you don’t water the seeds, they’ll dry up and from lack of attention, they won’t grow.
Your issues, problems and patterns are the same. If you just let them be awhile - think and talk less about them (or not at all), and instead water other seeds, the seeds you are watering will start to sprout and the ones you’re not watering (or watering less) won’t keep popping up out of the ground.