Posts in Self-Awareness
Where Has The Love Gone?

Where once there was connection and the warm and fuzzies, now the love between you has slithered away leaving layers of scaly resentment, anger and frustration.  

When you first met, you loved-him-so.  He left sparkles and fairy-dust in his tracks.  He painted your toenails, fluffed your pillows, paid attention to you in ways that made you feel really special, and looked longingly into your eyes.  If someone were looking-at-you-looking-at-him, all that could be seen were big hearts bursting out of your eyeballs as you gazed adoringly at him.  You easily overlooked his "flaws" ("What flaws?!?", you asked), his messes and gruff manor around anything emotional.  "Perfection, manifested," you thought.

Then one day, you noticed something about him that seemed like a flaw in the perfection package. You gave it some thought; maybe you discussed it with your friend(s). You may have decided you should discuss it with him, asking him to stop doing (or change) that thing because it made you feel irritated, bothered, angry or bad in some way.

So he did.  Kind of.  

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Tiny Boxes

We categorize, pigeonhole and put things in their places.  

We construct tiny boxes and fill them with things that fit into them.  Even with love...

I love you...If.

I love you...When.

I love you...Because.

Do this - and I love and approve of you.

Which can also mean  - I don't love you if, when or because.

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Relationships Built on Eggshells

Admit it - don't you sometimes (maybe often) think that if everyone would change a little and be more to your liking, it would be so much better for you?  A little tweak here another tweak there; stop doing this and start doing that.  

You know - that annoying thing your mother does.  You really love her, but...

And your sister - if she'd be more responsive...she's such a flake. 

Your friend - if he would just like your FB and Instagram posts.  You really like him but he's kind of a dick for that. 

Your significant other - if she'd be more responsible with her time (that would be nice). 

Your teenage daughter - if she were less moody (that would be really nice).

Your co-workers - if they weren't so negative (your day at work would be so much better). 

Wouldn't your world be so much shinier and full of rainbows if everyone was the version of what you wanted them to be?  You know, more like your dog - more loveable, sweeter, cooperative and always eager to please you? Like...all the time!

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Your Thoughts Are Like Seeds

Your thoughts are like seeds.  Every time you think them, it's like adding fertilizer to them.

Plant a seed, it grows.  

Think a thought longer, you're fertilizing it and it's growing even more.

Want an apple tree?  Plant an apple seed.  

Want tomatoes?  Plant tomato seeds.

Want asparagus? 

 ...You get the picture.  

If you want asparagus but plant corn, you're going to get corn.

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11 Ways To Ignite More Positive Thoughts

Just as you can go far and wide online, your mind also has the ability to go to all sorts of places. 

The difference is, you often manage the places you go online with more intention than you do your thoughts. 

Sometimes you let your thoughts go in all sorts of directions for no other reason than it’s what you always do.  It's a habit.  

The more you think about anything, the easier it gets to keep thinking about it in the same ole', same ole' way.  

Your thoughts attract not only what you're thinking about but also more thoughts similar to the ones you're thinking.  

Thank you, Law of Attraction.  

So if you're thinking about something (which makes it easier to think more thoughts like it) how do you get out of the loop of similar thoughts if you don't like the thoughts you're thinking?  (was that a brain-twister of a sentence, or what?)

One way is to make a decision that you’re going to think only if what you're thinking about feels good.  Any subject that doesn’t feel good when you're broaching it, you don't think about. (ie...politics anyone???).  

Another approach is to feel good and then think.  When you feel good, you're more likely to think about stuff in a way that matches-up with the good-feeling you have.  If you feel good and stumble upon a thought that doesn't feel good, for the time being, get off the subject. Getting off the subject when it doesn't feel good is like jumping off the train before it crashes. That's a good thing.  

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How Do You Like Me Now?

No matter who you are, you’re “in relationship” with someone. 

That can be someone you're living with, in a romantic relationship with, a friend, a relative, an employee, a boss, co-worker, a child or even your dog.  It can also be the people you mingle with in traffic, at the store, restaurant, or bar.  

And certainly yourself.  

The way to good relationships is not by pointing out faults or by putting attention on the things that bother you.  Neither is a good relationship cultivated by needing the person you’re in relationship with to change or to be different than they are.  

What you focus on expands and what you think about becomes your reality whether you like it or not.  

If you want things to be different, it’s up to you to focus differently.  

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Ask a Different Question. It's Important.

Why are questions important?

Because the questions you ask make you more aware of the answers.  If you don't ask a question, the answer might be smack-dab-in-your-face and you wouldn't know it, so asking a question makes you more aware of the answers that are there.  

If I said to you, “It’s a cat” and you hadn’t asked me a question similar to, “What kind of animal is that?”, you’d have no idea what I was talking about and you'd look at me like I was a crazy lady.  Awkwaaaaard.   

If you're asking questions and not liking the answers, maybe it's time to have a look-see at the questions and what the questions are highlighting.  If your questions are more pointed at the problems you don't want vs. the solutions you do want, the answers you continue to attract will be more of a match to the problems rather than the solutions.  

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Can You Fake It Till You Make It?

Sometimes, our daughter will get this look on her face and she’ll act as if she’s really mad about something.  She would convince any movie director that she’s really mad - but she's not. She’s playing a role and acting it out; she's not feeling it - she's pretending to feel something she's not.  

Do you ever fake how you feel?  Like feeling happy when you're not?

Do you ever pretend to feel something you're not?  Like feeling abundant when you feel utterly broke?

Do you ever pretend to feel confident when you feel insecure?

Do you use the words that sound positive to try to cover up how you feel?

How often do you fake it for the sake of – looking good, not looking bad, hiding, ease, impressing someone - faking how you feel mostly because of the way it would look to someone else or because that's what you think you're supposed to do?

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