Posts in Beliefs
Who are you now?

The stories that replay in your head can be so loud.

The things they said, you thought were true.

The way you used to feel shows up in your now, taking you back to when you were three when your father left, when you were twelve when the kids on the playground made fun of you, or from your more recent past when you chose yourself instead of him.

Echoes from your past,

“Who do you think you are?”

“Get over it.”

“You’re not as good as her or as pretty as her.”

“You’ll never amount to anything.”

“Put up and shut up.”

The voice of scorn, “Your work isn’t good enough”, “No one will ever want to marry you”, “You want too much,” or, “You think the whole universe revolves around you, don’t you?” (Well yes, as a matter of fact it does, thank you.)

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Tiny Boxes

We categorize, pigeonhole and put things in their places.  

We construct tiny boxes and fill them with things that fit into them.  Even with love...

I love you...If.

I love you...When.

I love you...Because.

Do this - and I love and approve of you.

Which can also mean  - I don't love you if, when or because.

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What's That Supposed to Mean?

"What are you making it mean?"

Sounds like a simple question.  What I'm referring to are the meanings you link to experiences and events in your life that you use to define who you are or are not; who others are or are not; and what the world is or is not.  

Meanings involve what you're capable or incapable of and what possibilities or improbabilities lie before you.  Meanings interweave with your beliefs and expectations.  

So how bound are you to those meanings?  

When someone says something to you in that tone of voice - what do you make it mean about you, or about them?  You might make it mean you did something wrong, they're an idiot, they're in a bad mood, or that you're responsible for how they feel.  

When you get (or don't get) something you want - what do you make it mean?  You might make it mean that it's your doing, or someone else's.  Maybe it's just luck, random, coincidence or that this one-time or every time things go your way? Or maybe it's that things don't ever go your way (or rarely do) and that it's someone else's fault you didn't get what you want?

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On Death, Dying and Living

Death touches us all. 

None of us can be born without experiencing what we call death.  

Not one of us will escape it.

The reality of it is provided for us within our family, friends, neighbors and strangers worldwide.  Often, the fear and sense of loss is perpetuated amongst us with the perspective that once we're dead, we are - for the most part - gone.

With the very recent transition of my mother-in-law, (lovingly called Gram), I wanted to pause and contemplate the idea of death, life and the thereafter once again.  

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Feeling Trumped?

The only thing you can do is to soothe yourself.

The only thing you can do is to find a way to feel better about it.

The only thing you can do in this moment is reach for a different and better-feeling perspective.

Why would you ever bother to find a way to feel better about something that doesn't seem like there's anything to feel good about?  

Because, "Why would you keep holding on to a perspective that doesn't feel good to you and creates fear or a sense of disempowerment within you?"  

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Warning: This May Cause a Heightened Sense of Self-Empowerment

There are a lot of people on this planet who believe that when something good happens it's luck, coincidence or good karma and when something they perceive as "bad" happening, it's the planets, bad luck, bad juju, or bad karma descending upon them as punishment for something wrong that they've done.  

If that's you, this is likely where you'll want to stop reading this. I'm happy you believe in something that makes sense to you.

If you are one who believes (or at least wants to believe) that you create your reality and that everything that happens in your experience is because of what you've been thinking and feeling (even if it's been oblivious on your part) then read on.  It means that you want creative control of your own experience.

Listed below are some guidelines to help you with that.

Warning:  This may cause a heightened sense of self-empowerment.  

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Things Are Always Working Out for You

Things don't always go according to your plan.

Sometimes it seems like life comes in and f*cks things up.

There are plenty of reasons for you to feel disappointed.

There are plenty of reasons you can find to beat yourself up.

There are plenty of reasons you can find that affirm that things are going wrong.

And you'd be justified for all of it.  

You thought you'd be much "farther along" than you find yourself to be at this age or stage in life,

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